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October 31, 2020

Free. Right.

2 min read

Dear Universe,

Have you ever woken up and just felt like everyhing was clear? Peace. Serenity. Have you felt like things were lifted off your shoulders, permitting you to stand straight, walk tall, and take all comers?

I woke up this morning and felt that way. Despite getting less than the recommended amount of sleep, I woke up haze free… strong. Refocused.

I sat here for a long time staring at this empty text file window, wondering who I should write to and what I should write, because so many emotions were coursing through my puny human consciousness, each fighting for sole attention. I put so much pressure on myself, wondering how precisely I should express this feeling… in this moment. And in the end, I felt that maybe I should just let it go and let myself just write.

Just. Write.

As I started typing, I felt that peace I woke up with amplify, grow into itself… multiply, twist, chortle, creep, stride, and become many things. Become all things… become undefineable.

I could say it’s a feeling of power, but that somehow connotes an ambition to rule, to control. It’s not that.

Maybe it’s just good old, plain old, home-grown hope. Hope. Or happiness! Yeah, it could be that.

Whatever it is, I want to relish in it. I want to feel this all the time. I feel this knot in my chest that usually comes from pain, tribulation, anxiousness, or sadness, amongst other things. This time, however, it’s something infinitely more positive.

Gods, I want this to stay.

-earl.

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