June 17, 2024

Decretas’ Doldrums

5 min read
10 Things… about me.

Haha!  Stef, I have accepted thy challenge, and completed it!   I was just about to write about my social anxiety.  What a wonderful opportunity to do so!

1.  I’m shy.  Well, more like… socially anxious.  People say, “How is that possible? You don’t look shy on stage.”  Believe me, it’s completely different on stage.  I dislike large crowds, so for the most part I stay away from malls.  Somehow computer and assorted geekery conventions are a little more comfy.  But at parties it gets bad sometimes.  I think everyone dislikes me, so I tend to keep to myself. And sometimes, I don’t say hi- not because I’m being offish,but because I don’t think people remember me or I don’t wanna bother people with my presence. I believe that I’m probably one of the worst conversationists ever, especially with people I don’t know very well.

2. On a positive and somewhat discordant note, I’m a compulsive idealist.  In my head exists a romanticized world, akin to the ones depicted in movies.  I believe, howevever, that one day they could possibly exist in real life.  It’s like I have “Imagine” constantly playing in my head. I believe all the sappy things they say in movies had to have been inspiried by real life events.  Thus, said events are possible… and repeatable.  I don’t do it quite as much anymore… but I used to daydream constantly.

3. My guitar is probably my single most treasured material possession. I’ve been playing guitar since the age of nine.  I took 3 years worth of lessons from a nun who was also the music teacher at my elementary school. Then high school happened and I stopped playing… mostly because I didn’t have a decent guitar.  I had outgrown my first guitar, and spending a few hundred dollars on a new one wasn’t exactly possible at the time. Right around senior year I discovered Guitar Center and rekindled my love for the instrument.  This was because I could walk into any GC, grab the most expensive guitar on the wall, and start playing it.  I would spend hours in there just trying out guitars. And I’d go alot. Through that, I learned to appreciate the sound and feel of a good guitar.  I suppose GC’s lax guitar playing policy was to my benefit. I spent years dreaming about owning one of those guitars. Anyway, I finally bought a new guitar after college.  It is hands down the best purchase I have ever made.

When I play, I’m at peace.

4. I am still a little bitter about my POS high school.  I didn’t realize how bad it was until I got to college. Everyone I met in college had access to tons of programs and resources at their high schools… not to mention a decent education. I went to a Catholic High School with a substandard quality of education and my parents had to pay for it. They paid thousands of dollars a year in tuition and my education probably wasn’t even comparable to some of the other public school programs available in the area.  Let’s put it like this; my SAT math score was 40 points higher my freshman year than it was when I retook it as a senior.  In my senior AP class, I think 2 of us passed the AP English exam.  Only 1 passed the US History exam.

5. I think my only real talent lies in comedy.  I even question that sometimes. Still… I’ve come to realize that one of the ways I can gauge my happiness is by the proximity/availability of a stage on which I can perform.  And while I’m on that stage, laughter is my crack.  It feeds me, drives me, and sustains me.  I can take a good show, and live off the vibe long enough to tolerate a week or so of my day job.

6. When I first learned how to use Photoshop, it was in version 3.0 and the computers we were using were top of the line PowerMacs with 275MHz PowerPC Processors and… wow, 128mb of RAM.

Yep, that’s a ZIP drive.

7. In high school, I had a secret goal of someday competing in the “World Strongest Man” competition.  I wanted to be able to bench 400lbs. by the time I graduated from college.  I was like, “Hey, I only need to add another 100lbs. to my max over 4 years.”  Haha.  Little did I know it would take 5 years to graduate and that keeping 4-day lifting schedule isn’t exactly easy while in college… for some reason.

8. I talk to myself… alot.  Much of it is me replaying old conversations in my head and saying “Gosh, I can’t believe I said that.” or “I sound like a fuckin’ moron.” or “What the heck is wrong with me?”  Also, I talk to myself about my daydreams. Also… I read my posts out loud to myself, like 10 times before I submit them.  And still, I find spelling/grammar/stylistic errors.

9. I can be insanely critical of anything artistic I see/hear/feel/etc.  As such, I have an utterly pure, deep-seated, and immaculate hatred of my recorded voice.

10. My current secret (well, not so secret anymore) goal is to be considered a polymath one day.

Who am I tagging? Everyone. I remove my glov’ed hand from its suede covering and strike the whole lot of ye across the rostral (as opposed to caudal) cheeks, not once!  Nay!  Twice? Nay. Thrice! And the ayes have it. Prithee, I implorest the greater bulk of my readership to acquiese with gusto!

In unrelated news, I have found a new online love in

Exhibit A:
Exhibit B:

I wasn’t sure if this warranted an entire new entry.  Gosh… maybe so, cuz Emm Gryner is pretty awersomes.  But I go against my better judgement alot…. so here goes:

4 thoughts on “Decretas’ Doldrums

  1. 2 seconds ago I asked Allan what a zip drive was. But no, really, I remember what they are. Yeah… Also, I think Beyonce shouldn’t consider herself a songwriter. And that’s coming from someone who can’t even write enough to get to the 2nd verse. I also totally understand #1. But I feel more at home at the mall. Only cuz I’m a girl. And I think you might as well check #10 off of your not so secret goals of life. or maybe allan and i just put you on a pedestal.

  2. i think you’re a totally great conversationalist… but it’s the best when you’re trying to talk to someone whilst tossing a bottle back and forth… and then miss… that was one of my favorite memories of 431-103…
    and the POS school… man…i also remember us talking about burning it down and dancing on its ashes… something of that sort… and i’m not sure if anyone from my class passed those APs.

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