Jager.

Dear Current Self,

I would like to take this time to remind you that you are no longer in your early twenties. You, therefore, cannot recover from a heavy drinking night as easily as before.

Also, your usual (formerly, anyway) hangover remedy of Gatorade and a Chili Dog doesn’t work anymore. It just gives you heartburn now.

In conclusion: Slow down, you old fart.

-earl.