Dear Prophet Velen,
I rendezvoused with the young Mage who you insisted was “The One.” Call me old and befuddled, but he looks suspiciously like the 1,000 previous “The Ones” you sent my way. They’re always the same height and build. The warriors look just like mages, who look just like the hunters. I swear, are the Naaru putting something in our water source? I’m just wondering because everyone’s built like Arnold friggin Schwarzenegger. Also have you noticed that all of us have one of seven different faces? Sure our cranial cresting and tendrils are a bit different, but I swear Exarch Menelaous looks just like me! You’re the only one that looks any different than us, and not even by much! You’re just an oversized version of everyone else, with an ability to grow a full beard!
Anyway, back to the young Mage, Palabok was his name, methinks. He promised to get rid of that bothersome Felsteed-riding Blood Elf that constantly trolls the road north of Bladewood. (Which is ridiculously close to Blood Watch, by the way. I mean, I can look right into the commander’s sleeping quarters. I don’t know why they don’t just attack already.) Anyway, Palabok said he dispatched said Blood Elf, and even brought his head back as proof. But that Elven fucker keeps on coming back and killing all the younger Dranei I send out to fetch me Crystal Samples and Elder Bear Flanks. Do the Elves have some kind of cloning machine? That’s just unfair. I mean, if I had a cloning machine, I’d make clones of that new Defender, Adrielle. She can “Hand”le my Argus anytime.
So, Velly, that’s pretty much everything that’s going on over here at Blood Watch. If you’re ever bored, feel free to drop by. I’ll pay for the Hippogriff. Or you can just randomly appear like you do every time one of “The Ones” destroys the mystically self-repairing Vector Coil. Exarch Admetius hasn’t been any fun lately. All he ever does is talk about his crazy theory about his gaps in memory that seem to occur every Tuesday morning. Perhaps he needs to be relieved. I have a cousin that’s been dying to transfer out of Honor’s Hold. Consider it.
May yours days be long and your hardships few,