May 20, 2024


2 min read

The setting. Crash to: Me sitting in my swiveled gaming chair with the red faux leather back and headrest and built in 5.1 surround sound. I am sitting at my gaming desk, which is really just an Ikea desk painted black to match my self-built desktop tower with the blue neon lights that serve as my Hard Drive indicator light. Does it get annoying? Yes, sometimes, but such is the price of LEETness.

It’s a Thursday night. I can hear the alcohol induced stomping of the girl next door as she climbs up her stairs. Must be late if she’s already home.

What am I doing? I bet you think I’m gaming. Wrong. Too distracted for that tonight. Icecrown will have to wait.

I’m just chatting. Plain old Instant Messaging. And checking status updates. In fact, I’ve been doing it all day.

I type in the letters F-U-C-K-T-H-I-S into my chat box and hit send.

“Why what’s she doin now?” replies Jok3rX3, from the next state over. We’ve been IRL friends since junior high, back when he was just Nick. “She” was Anne, my ex-girlfriend of 4 months. We had been together for almost 4 years when she started throwing crap around, like “turning 30,” “steady career,” and “ticking clock.”

“Dood, she updated that she’s hiking up kilaminjaro or some shit with that douchebag Jon.” This is my reply, verbatim.

“Yo, that’s in africa bro. I thot u said she was in south america.”

“whatevs, same shit.”

“u guys arent together anymore tho, rite?”

“yeah, so?”

“y u so pissed then?”

“i dunno…”

“she moved on quick like, huh? it was like that with me n mae.”

“yeah iguess.”

“i kno, it’s fuct.”

“its sux0rz man, it’s like she’s having way more fun. She’s out exploring the amazon anmd i’m stuck here chatting with you on a party night.”

“thanks, ass. Maybe you should do something about it.”

What? Dammit Nick. Damn you and your logical advice. Our chat window lay dormant for a minute or two while I thought of a snappy retort, or a good “Ha! I’ll show you!” I went for the latter.

“hey cockboy. I’m going to vegas. turnaround trip to sin city – course locked, warp 5, engage”


“no really. Serious-LY.”

“you’re loco. K then. pick me up on the way, kthxbai”

“coolio, see you in tres horas.”

Windows + L. Extra water and veggies for Largo the Lagomorph. Patio door:locked. Stove off. Keys, check. Wallet, check. Cell phone, check. Front door:locked.

Good thing I just got my oil changed.

Posted by Wordmobi

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